Rewrite “progression 1 assignment 2” according to the feedback . It should be a progression that includes: title/author’s name, introductory sentence, not just a summary but it also explains motivation/logic, quotes and direct evidence, reaction to the evidence used, and should represent a personal understanding and how the reader understood the text.
Below is the feedback
Overall Feedback
Literary not literacy–is he using a “tool” here or is he allowing his unconscious mind to describe what he sees via metaphor. In other words does metaphor help him express or does it show him what he needs to express? Do you see the distinction?
Part of the magic here is that Doty doesn’t know what he’s doing–up to a certain point.
I wonder about these sentences:
The writer goes on to show how having one experience of something changes a person’s perspective entirely. Doty writes, “If you’ve seen one abalone shell, you’ve seen them all (Doty 2);’ suggesting that once a person goes through an experience, it changes his views on that particular item.
Isn’t he saying that all abalone shells are the same. There’s nothing special about any of the individual shells one might encounter…
Do not provide a traditional “conclusion”
ESSAY
Representation of Mark Doty’s “Souls on Ice”
The essay “Souls on Ice” by Mark Doty follows Doty’s thought process in writing his poem “A Display of Mackerel.” The poem was the product of Doty’s encounter with a group of fish in the fresh fish section of the grocery store. This sight of the dead fish stirred feelings of astonishment in him, which he addresses in both his essay and the poem.
Doty’s essay shows how inspiration can spring from anything, and we cannot have control over what those things are. In the essay, Doty states his astonishment at how the mackerel look in the area as a group. “I was struck by the elegance of the Mackerel… brilliant against the white of the crushed ice (Doty 1).” This astonishment gave rise to the intrigue that led to Mark writing a poem that conveyed passion. Though the fish may seem dull to people, Mark is still struck by the sight of them, which brings him to write about them, as seen in the text where he spends time in the car and at home thinking of how to write about the fish. This event proves that inspiration can come from different areas, and we do not have any control over them.
Doty’s essay also shows how metaphors help to convey knowledge. Doty expresses that the metaphors moved before he even started to see how he would use them in his poems. Doty explains how writers use this literacy tool to express their views on subjects in their writing. He explains that these metaphors carry the knowledge and feelings of the authors in the poem. By deciphering these linguistic tools, we can get a deeper meaning to the writing. Doty writes that metaphors act as a vessel that helps writers explore different feelings for their audience. He states that without these, the writing pieces would be dull and uneventful and not strike peoples’ feelings.
In addition, Doty shows how past experiences can affect one’s perspective. Traumatizing events such as the death of a loved one can instigate change in one’s views of life. The author seems to explain this when he writes about his discovery being influenced by the death of a close person. “Everything I wrote, everything I saw was informed by this loss, by the overpowering emotional force of it (Doty 3).” This notion shows how people in society are always at the mercy of changing circumstances. A shift in the past has a significant effect on future views. The author concludes that a person’s individuality does not matter, but just like fish, it is the commonality of humanity. This aspect speaks to how each person’s action cumulatively leads to the movement of society as a whole. He notes that even in the face of death, a person can still live on, as he showed in the fish, which still looked as having the elegance of swimming, though dead, so are people not limited in death as their previous deeds still live.
As Mark continues to write his essay, he notes that there is a duality in the views that are offered in life. In the essay, Doty states that even as he was writing, he discovered that there are different points in which people look at things. Not all opinions are similar. This is true in society. Every person has a unique view of events occurring in the world. The writer goes on to show how having one experience of something changes a person’s perspective entirely. Doty writes, “If you’ve seen one abalone shell, you’ve seen them all (Doty 2),” suggesting that once a person goes through an experience, it changes his views on that particular item.
In conclusion, Doty’s essay discusses the inspiration for and experience of writing his poem. First, he shows how a mundane thing, such as a fish, can cause inspiration in the lives of a person. Second, he discusses the power of metaphors for displaying authors’ feelings and knowledge in artistic works. Third, Doty shows how an experience can affect a person’s views and actions later in life. Finally, he explains that each person has an opinion on different subjects.
Work Cited
Doty, Mark. “Souls on Ice | Academy of American Poets.” Poets.org, 18 July 2000, poets.org/text/souls-ice.
